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Let me begin by saying, there’s no right or wrong way to do the Elf on the Shelf. I have heard of so many varieties of this tradition over the years. Some varieties involve an Elf who never moves, others have elves that cause a whole lot of mischief and are Santa’s main helper to decide who is on the nice list.
Before I had kids of my own, I had an Elf on the Shelf in my special education kindergarten classroom. The first year I did it, I had a few students in my class who had anxiety and required a lot of reassurance and positive reinforcement. I knew the idea that an Elf was watching their behavior and reporting back to Santa would cause a lot of stress and worry. I came across a post on Pinterest about Kindness Elves. They were elves who encouraged kids to do good deeds and be kind to others. I LOVED this idea and decided to give it a try in my classroom. I went to the Dollar Tree and stocked up on stationary, arts and crafts, candy and other little goodies that our Elf could bring to help us spread kindness and cheer. I reached out to other teachers in my school who had community connections and came up with a list of people who would benefit from Random Acts of Kindness. Our Elf would arrive with a letter and the materials to do a good deed. It was a wonderful way to spread cheer and get excited for the holidays. If you are a teacher and you are interested in trying this, I always used this book to explain the idea of a good deed.
Our Family Elf
Fast forward to the first year we got an Elf in our house for our own kids. I knew I wanted to participate in this tradition but I was still not convinced that believing a small doll Elf was watching and reporting back to Santa was a good tradition to start in our home. I also had a hard time with the idea that I was telling my kids to behave just to get stuff from Santa. Every other day you behave because it is the right thing to do and the same should be true in the month of December. I also know that I (and I think most parents) don’t really base what we give our kids on their behavior, so if I threatened the naughty list all month with a secret elf spy, what message would it send when they still have a plentiful Christmas? Again, there is no right or wrong way to do the Elf, I am just sharing what makes sense for me and our family. If you need the fear of Santa in your house, I am not going to judge you. Each family is different!
Our Elf arrives the day after Thanksgiving in a felt envelope (I got it at Target in the dollar section a few years ago) with a note from the North Pole. Here is a list of what our Elf Does and Doesn’t Do.
What Our Elf Doesn’t Do
- Engage in any mischief (I wish I had the time and creativity for this- there are so many cute ideas out there!)
- Spy or report to Santa about bad behavior
What Our Elf Does
- Arrives on the day after Thanksgiving
- Moves to a new spot every night while everyone is asleep
- Flies back to the North Pole every night
- Delivers letters to and from Santa for us
- Leaves us positive reinforcement notes for good behavior and good deeds
- Is magical and therefore can’t be touched
- Spreads cheer in our home by decorating our bedroom doors one night
- Brings special treats occasionally like a hot chocolate packet or a candy cane
- Brings the materials to make a special Christmas craft, project or recipe
- Brings the fixings to make our gingerbread houses the week before Christmas
- Brings the materials to do a good deed for someone, like a blank card to create a Christmas card to deliver to someone or a bag of candy to pass out to people
- Sits with us for a fancy North Pole Breakfast on Christmas Eve (her last morning with us)
We love our Elf and she has become a very special part of our Christmas traditions. I love the magic that comes with her and the excitement that the kids get with every move she makes.
